You Can't Make This Sh%* Up!

Funny story. Some of you may know that my father passed away recently. (This is not the funny part. Just bear with me.) You may also know that I was raised in the *country* and my daddy was a big hunter. He didn't want a funeral service (he's just that kind of 'Simple Man') but we knew that we would need to do something for us to help us accept that he was gone. The decision was made to cremate his body and spread his remains at his two favorite hunting sites. (Still not funny, I know; I'm getting there.) So my family and a few close friends got together to take his ashes into the woods. While there my sister was stung by a bee. I've been told my entire life the best thing to do for a bee sting is to place tobacco on it to draw out the poison. Now at this redneck service there was--of course--chewing tobacco. Remarkably enough, no one in the group actually had it in their mouth, so they wet it with a beer. Yeah, no one had a water, but there was beer. My sister was having trouble keeping the tobacco in place on her hand. So someone kindly offered to secure it--with duct tape! Yes, folks, they duct taped beer-saturated chewing tobacco to my sister's hand during what was essentially our father's funeral. I have only one thing to say: Dad would have been so proud!